Tiki Chat with your lovely Hostess Psycho Patti

Tonight's episode... My Day!
Come on in. Sit down, relax. How's it going? Gosh, you all look great or is it just me? That looks great?! HA! It's a joke!!! I hope you don't mind my casual attire this evening. Monkey pajama pants make me feel like a little naughty cheeky monkey. I know what you are asking yourselves. Does she really have Monkey pajama pants and the answer is YES! I do have a shirt on too. You nasty little get your minds out of the gutter people. My shirt of choice this evening is "WELCOME TO LAS VEGAS"! I also have pair of white socks on. You happy? Now, you know I am fully clothed. Let's get to it.

So, I set my alarm for 7:45am this morning. My husband laughs at me last night when I told him I was getting up early. Hey.... 7:45am is EARLY for me. You people know this. Well, the alarm goes off and I hop out of bed much to my hubby's surprise. HA! Bite me Mister!
I have to admit I hated to end the dream I was having right before the alarm went off. I actually had two dreams last night. One involved my co-worker Renee and the other Dennis Leary. I bet you can guess which one I didn't want to end. No, sicko's not the one with Renee in it. The Leary dream...Oh man, TOMMY "Rescue Me". It's a 4-alarm fire in my pants pal. OK, I will move on. Even though I really want to talk about that dream.

So, I get dressed, I eat breakfast and as usual midway through the meal "Mom Hater" has to poop. Where's Daddy when you need him? He's Pooping too. CRAP me I say- no pun intended. HA. I head upstairs and help the little wonder of life out. Nearly gag and am unable to finish my breakfast.
Daddy has "Mom Hater" duty today and I wish I would have skipped breakfast and just headed to work. I swear I have wiped that kids ass more than I have wiped my own and that's a lot!

Next... I head to work. Arrive at work ready for my day. It's gonna be great I tell myself. But first... a little side trip to the High Street United Methodist Bake Sale. Hey... have you noticed that if you take the odist off of Methodist you have Meth Bake Sale! LOL!!! Gawd, I am cleaver! Anyhoo.. I buy some stuff I don't need and say hi to my peeps working the sale. Back to work! Nice Hooters Megs!!! LOL! She made OWL cookies. Seriously people!!!

Decide about 1pm it's time for lunch. But, not the usual crap lunch I have on working days. Power bar and a carton of milk from Walgreens. So, I grab Renee, not literally people, I grab Renee- my co-worker and we head to the bustling hub of the University Village of Ball State University. P L E A S E! It was dead as a door nail. Seriously, do we really live in a College Town? We decide on Scotty's. Scotty's has a 15-20 min wait. I am thinking a wait for what? To make it look like you are busy? I see empty tables. No worries.... I ask if we can sit at the bar. Sure, they tell me! So, we jump on our bar seats and order up! No, we did not drink our lunch but I will not lie. It was damn tempting! We were in and out of Scotty's in 45 mins. Awesome! BBQ chicken ranch salads with a side of Deep fried Pickles. Renee reminds me it's Friday and there are no diets on Friday's. OKAY! I like that! I mean we already blow it with those cinnamon rolls from the METH bake sale. Who's counting points at this point in the game.

Back to work.... Deal with morons (insurance companies) talk to Renee, diagnose a few patients on my own and tell Renee to write the report with "MY" findings just for the hell of it. LMAO!!! Oh man... Good times!!

Phone call mid-afternoon- It's Jimbo and "Mom Hater". Found the Scooby Doo costume and it was mis-priced. AWESOME!!! Jim gets the deal. JP gets to be Scooby. Jim ask's me if I want to do something tonight. I say, "did you get a babysitter"? He laughs. No, he wants to know if I want to go to Hamilton Town Center for dinner at Red Robin. I know there has to be more to this deal. Sure enough... He wants to buy a new driver for his golf game tomorrow. (side note- Hey Jim, that new driver ain't gonna help the game pal) So, off we go around 6:15pm. Get there and he spends an hour trying out Super Shark head driver,Big as your Momma's ass Driver, Seriously if you can't hit the ball with this "Big ASS" driver you better give up the game driver. "Mom Hater and myself take off and walk the mall while Jim plays with his balls (HA) I mean clubs for an hour. "Mom hater" and myself check out the Dog bakery in the mall. There is a couple in there with a Wimerwama dama lama dog of some sort. "Mom hater" is taken with the pooch immediately. The couple tells us the dog is very friendly. I ask if it is a puppy. It's quite scrawny. They say No that he is 1 1/2 years but that particular breed takes a while to fill out. I am thinking he looks like he is from Ethiopia. Feed that Mutt I say to myself. The couple turns to leave and says "come on Forrest". I stop and think do they mean "Mom Hater?", OH, I get it. It's the Dogs name. How classic is that. I tell them "Hey, that is what I call my son." "But for other reasons." They laugh and move on. No wonder the damn dog was so thin. It just kept running and running and running and running and then he just stopped. LOL!!

OK, so back to Jim... No Driver for him. They go on sale next month. So being the bargain shopper he is (there is no way in hell I am letting him buy a $200 driver) he will return when the sale is on. Good choice Honey!

We move on to dinner. Red Robin. It's packed with Kids, Balloons and GAY waiters prancing around the tables like some freaky circus act. We take our seat. Our waiter is a cutie. He immediately starts to flirt with me. OK, so maybe that part was in my imagination but the guy was definitely after a "Big" tip. Hey, here's your tip- I am not impressed. Just get my damn drink. Oh I am kidding. The guy was great. Come to find out this was his second job. He has another job as well as 5 kids and he told us he was only 34. I said "man, you have been busy.". He cracks up and I can't believe I said that. Not really! It's something I would say and you all know that.

We end the night with a delightful drive home on I-69. NOT! It's raining and for some reason every big rig is on the road and nobody seems to know how the hell to drive in it. It's rain people! Not tacks falling from the sky. Stay in you fucking lanes! All is not wasted... We enjoy listening to "Mom Hater" serenade us to the country songs on the radio. I think he might know more words to songs than I do. Funny... He can't draw a smiley face, tell you his numbers in order or his alphabet but he sure as hell can sing a George Strait song and an Alan Jackson song I didn't even know he had ever heard. WHAT THE HELL?! I actually am quite proud of him. That's my boy! Country all the way!!! Hell yea, turn it up! Play something County Momma, Let's get our drink on. I love this kid even if he does hate me. It's all good.

"Mom hater" in bed. Me showered and relaxed! Back to the Monkey pajamas and writing in my blog for all to enjoy.

Tomorrow is another day.... It's off to the Prairie with "Mom Hater" and friends. Connor Prairie. A step back in time they say about that place. We are supposed to be going to an apple thing. Hay ride, Apples, Crafts. Should be interesting and if I know me and I do.... I will have a good story to tell after this adventure.

Sleep well friends and remember.... You are never too old to put on you Monkey Pajama's!

P.